Today you are One!

A letter to my son...

To my darling Jeremy, 

I cannot believe you are one today! It literally feels like yesterday I was giving you abundant cuddles and not letting the midwives put you in your own bassinet. Come to think of it, it was just yesterday that I let you sleep in my arms because I couldn't handle the thought that my squishy little baby is now a little boy. 

You are such a big mover. I still can't believe you rolled over at 9 days old! And once you got the hang of rolling you rolled everywhere and constantly ended up getting stuck under the coffee table. Now you are a champion crawler, one can always hear your thumping crawl before actually seeing you. Walking is not far off for you, but take your time my darling because once you get going there will be no stopping you. 

I love that you are a bundle of affection. Your big sloppy kisses are the highlight of my mornings especially when I can barely keep my eyes open from having stayed up all night with you.  I love how your first smile for me was when I told you that I loved you. I've so enjoyed seeing your little personality grow and develop. You love eye contact and seek it out just so you can smile at someone, anyone. I'm always finding you having chats with random people at the supermarket, which is the only type of shopping you like. You are my snuggle bug through and through, loving the front pack over the pram unless we are going on a big walk with lots of things for you to see

You currently have the attention span of a goldfish but I've noticed over the last few weeks touch and feel books have managed to steal your attention for more than a second. You are such a go-er my boy, make sure you remember to stop and enjoy the moment. 

You adore your sister and you are always yelling for her especially when she's at kindy. I love watching the two of you play and fight. You definitely give as good as you get son! We will have to warn Sbyra-Beth that it is not long before you are going to be bigger and stronger than her, but by then I'm sure you will just be smothering her with your hugs and no longer pulling her hair! 

My little boy through and through, you love being outside and exploring everything. You aren't an animal lover like your sister but you are intrigued by anything that makes a noise. You thump, thud, clash and bang on anything you can get your hands on. Your latest trick is clapping your hands/ And you are SOOOO loud, like all the time. I think you get that from me. You are passionate, determine, loving, exuberant, opinionated and all the qualities daddy and I are going to have such a wonderful time parenting as you approach your teenage years. 

My utter delight, the joy of my heart. It is a gift and honour to be your mummy

Love, 

Mummy 

Fresh 48 Photoshoot by Grace Jones Photography

We didn't choose the Parent life, it Chose Us

I posted a photo on instagram a while ago saying I was staring at a blog title called "I didn't choose the mum life the mum life chose me" but I wasn't brave enough to write it. Yes, it still terrifies me to write what I'm about to, but I think the reason why I initially couldn't write it was because this journey hasn't been about me. It's been about us, Josiah and Magdalene Paul. I thought I would share a little bit about our journey. I think growth is something to be celebrated. Today is part one of this celebration.

See these two kids, little did they know just over 8 months from this day, they would be hit with news that would change their lives forever. We had dated almost 4 years before we got married, most of that long distance. I was young, fresh out of my parents home, immature and dramatic which didn't make for a good combination. Those first few months were tough, we both made mistakes and we both had different ideas of what marriage looked like. 

I bought a pregnancy test as a "haha lets just make sure we aren't" but when the two lines took their time appearing my first thoughts were not my own, 

Mary's Song- Luke 1: 46,49

"My soul glorifies the Lord... for the Mighty One has done great things in me" 

Mary's song suddenly became my own and even though this baby inside me wasn't planned by usI was reassured that this child was something great. 

When I told Josiah his response was "you are joking" followed by, are you 100% sure? 6 pregnancy tests and a blood test later and we were definitely sure. My husband smiled with his lips but not with his eyes. Looking back, I can't blame him. He is logical and a provider by nature, a baby therefore threw spanner in our plans especially financially. A week later the morning sickness kicked in with brute force and lasted another four months. In that time I think I cried in my office every day at work. Partially from feeling sick and useless at our busiest time of the year, but partially because I didn't understand my husband's lack of enthusiasm. My pregnancy was tough with one thing after the next but to cut a long story short I think we were both terrified about what was to come, but we were scared apart, as opposed to facing our fear together

When I was admitted into hospital, the three day long induction before I went into labour was the longest time we had spent together since our honeymoon. We chatted, we laughed and we did countless laps up and down stairs and around Waitakere hospital I started to forget how alone I had felt the past 9 months and started remembering why I fell in love with him. Which was good because neither of us knew what was about to happen during my 30 hour long labour with Shyra-Beth, but that is a story for another time. 

I remember the moment. I was lying in bed still unable to move after my c-section and Josiah stood there holding this baby in his arms. The look on his face as he held her, is one etched into my memory forever. The utter love, devotion and protection. He said nothing, but he didn't have to. I knew that regardless of what our pregnancy journey had been he was going to love this little girl to the moon and back. 

You may look at our photos now and we may seem like the perfect little nuclear family, mum, dad, daughter and son with our first home and our vege garden. This is not the life we had planned for the first 4 years of our marriage. This is not the life we asked for but it was the life we were given. We were given a beautiful gift but we couldn't see its worth until she arrived. We couldn't see that our daughter gave us a cause fight for. Gave us a reason to improve our communication and pour into our marriage because we saw just how much she needed us both. Even when it was tough we continued to choose love, because of her and now we choose love because we want to. Because love is wonderful, marriage is wonderful but its hard. Unexpected things happen all the time. It might not necessarily be an unplanned baby 

My husband Josiah is the most incredible dad and I wouldn't want to do this life with anyone else. Maybe one of these days I'll pick up some more courage and write part two of our parenthood journey. xx Mags

JJ's Gut Health Journey Update

Well, it's been 4 months since we started Jeremy's gut health journey. Four months since his "sluggish gut" diagnosis, since I started joining dots and since I stopped wallowing in self-blame and put a plan together. 

So this is what I'm pretty sure happened, but as I've said before I'm not a medical professional this is just a mum, her intuition and advice from medical professionals. Jeremy had a tongue tie, which we didn't know about, so he wasn't getting enough milk. Jeremy had his 6 week vaccinations. It was after him getting the Rotovirus vaccine he stopped pooing every day. 

Not enough good bacteria in the gut from breast milk + rotovirus vaccine = a change in the lining of his gut. 

I came to this conclusion by joining dots, because I'm pretty much a detective and also because the lactation consultant told me that she's seen a few babies this has happened to! FYI I'm totally still pro-vaccinations, it's just interesting at what an important role good feeding and breast milk plays in all of this.

Anyway, it's been an interesting three months with good days, bad days and four days of a vomiting bug that set us back by a month. So how is he doing? GOOD! We have seen a huge change, that is partially from the plan and partially from his gut developing and getting more mature. But the big thing in all of this is that his gut is healing itself! He generally poos every day now, most of the time by himself and sometimes with some help (I push his legs back into a squat position, he's putting on weight and is generally a lot happier. From where he came from and only pooing once a week, being gassy, uncomfortable and having really hard poos, I couldn't be happier with where we are now. 

My plan has slightly changed since the beginning so I thought I would update you all as to how it is going

1. Breastmilk  
In my last post I talked quite a bit about breast milk and I have been going super strong with the breast milk. He still feeds 3-4 times a day but just in the last three weeks I've occasionally started introducing 1/2 a bottle of formula at night. If you know me, you will know this was a huge decision for me but with him having quite a few teeth sometimes he would get so overtired and irritated on the breast he would just keep biting me and I wasn't handling. So yes we did it, he would maybe have a 100ml at night once a week and it has actually been fine for him


2. Water 

The dr advised me that fluid was super crucial in helping to lubricate the gut to prevent constipation. But with Jeremy's high arched palate, he didn't know how to suck so sippy cups or bottles with straws were out of the question which is why I was so excited to find out about Doidy Cup.  Doidy Cup's slanted design was perfect for Jeremy, to help him learn how to drink straight from a cup without needing to suck. It also helps aid hand eye co-ordination and I have seen this myself as in the last month he has become an absolute champ at feeding himself. My favourite part about the doidy cup is there are no little fiddly bits to clean or worry about food getting stuck in. If you are keen to give it a go, make sure to keep an eye out on my instagram as I will be doing a give away soon! 

3. KiwiHerb Kids Calm

I talked about this product in my last post. But this has been my lifesaver as when we started this journey Jeremy was on quite a limited bone broth based diet, but he has his parents taste buds and therefore loves food. I've had been apprehensive about letting him try different things as I have no idea how he would react. For example the other night we had falafels with hummus and all the chickpeas I ate made him so sore and gassy he screamed for ages! 

This is where Kids Calm comes in! You can use Kids Calm for a whole range of things but with Jeremy how I find it works, is that it takes all the little wind bubbles and makes it come out as one (from either end) it just completely settles his tummy. This has been amazing to have whenever we are introducing something new. 

4. Diet

As mentioned above Jeremy is no longer on a limited diet. He generally eats what we eat now, just a salt and sugar free, whole grain version.  He doesn't have bone broth every day now, but still often. Generally, we avoid giving him white bread, white flour, white pasta- anything that's been quite processed. One thing the lactation consultant recommended giving him was slippery elm. The powder form is quite inexpensive and just adding half a teaspoon of that to his meals just helps line his gut and aid his digestion. It's also fairly tasteless so if I have forgotten to add it to his food he will have it via syringe diluted in a bit of warm water

5. Peppermint Oil

It just so happens my mum has made trips back to Singapore before both my births. And she comes back with all sorts of Asian goodies some I roll my eyes at and some I swear by. She always brings back this oil called Yu Ie oil and I honestly didn't believe her when she said it helped with wind. That was until the lactation consultant told me Peppermint oil really helps with digestion and guess what's the primary ingredient in this random asian oil? Needless to say its now part of our bedtime routine

6. Kiwi Herb Baby Balm

When chatting with the doctor about times Jeremy has had quite solid poos, he mentioned something interesting. Apparently, if a child has done a poo that has made their bottom quite sore, they can sometimes hold their poos in, in fear of the pain. So although their tummy is now functioning well, the fear of the pain can prohibit them from releasing a bowel motion. He advised to smother the area with a nappy cream every nappy change. He recommended a popular brand but the thought of putting something so full of chemicals on Jeremy every nappy change made me cringe. I loveeee Kiwi Herb's baby balm, its all natural, its soothing and it really has been a game changer for us enabling Jeremy to actually do a bowel motion by himself. This balm is also super versatile. I keep some in a separate little jar put on my nips if Jeremy has bitten me and it works really well as a barrier cream for Shyra's ezcema before she eats something acidic like oranges. 

So that's us for now! I'm so encouraged by the progress he's made so thank you all so much for thinking about us and praying for Jeremy I know that his gut is going to be fully restored to what it needs to be!

Shyra- Beth's Backyard Bambi Party!

After Shyra-Beth's first birthday I had said to myself and Josiah that we wouldn't do another party till she was 5. But then a few months ago Shyra-Beth started constantly talking about birthday parties. Firstly because her favourite episode of Blaze and the monster machines is one about a birthday party and secondly because they have a wooden birthday cake at kindy that they play make belief birthday parties with. So I figured with her being so aware surely we can do something small and simple right? 

Turns out according to my family "simple" is not in my vocabulary. But I did try honestly I did and I managed to keep it totally within budget. So win win! Especially since Shyra-Beth had the best day and the build-up to her party for her, was almost just as exciting! 

We decided to do a morning tea on a weekday because a. morning tea is pre-nap time and b. having it on a weekday kept the guest list to a nice cozy number. Basically, all the party supplies were bought from our local dollar store, handmade or foraged from the garden. And all the food was made by myself or one of our mums. I'm super into the whole grazing platter idea so I decided to just do that for the grown-ups but maybe next time I won't make 5 platters for 14 adults... what? I like being generous! We had two games organised, but with the tramp, ball pit, bubbles and ride on toys available in the garden we just ended up doing one game which was the treasure hunt! I grabbed the plastic eggs on clearance after easter from Kmart at $1 for 25 eggs so I just filled them with stickers, lollies, glow in the dark animals and animal erasers. Anyway I blaaaa wayyy too much so I'll let the photos speak for themselves! Any questions just comment away xx Mags 

What Motherhood has taught me about The Father's Heart

Motherhood certainly opens your eyes to a whole new world. A world where getting your eyebrows done drops to the bottom of the priority list under 10,000 loads of laundry, cupcakes for a fundraiser and research on an organic cotton fair trade snuggie. As a believer and follower of Christ, motherhood has opened my eyes to a completely new way of understanding God the Father's heart.

1.He knows the Big Picture

As many of you know we have been through a bit of a journey with Shyra-Beth over the last few months, call it terrific twos or attention seeking since getting a baby brother, our mornings have become a battleground. At the moment, with the help of a personalised sticker chart we are currently winning the battle but I recall one particularly trying morning when we were meant to be going out and she absolutely refused to get dressed. I grabbed her by the shoulders and said to her "if only you would listen to me we would do so many more fun things and go on many more adventures." And then it hit me like a tonne of bricks. How often have I been the toddler wanting to stay in my pjs watching DVDs  at home when God wanted to take me to the movies, to watch it on the big screen and buy my ice cream. How often have I held on to what I think is right and not given God a chance to move in my life and show me much bigger or better things, much more than I could ask for or imagine? How many times have I cried out in anger about a current distressing situation without stopping to listen for an answer. Who knew such conviction could come from getting your child dressed right? 

2. We are happiest when we are close to Him 

Jeremy is what you would call a Class A snugglebug. When he is happy he will look at you with his gorgeous big eyes, his face will erupt in a smile and then he will throw his face straight into that nook between your collarbone and shoulder and just snuggle in. That is his happy place. Since being sick and cutting his first tooth straight after that it's been a bit fun trying to transition his back into his own bed, we are getting better nights but Jeremy always sleeps the best when he is in our arms, in our bed or in the frontpack. He is settled, content and just happy. I look at him sometimes while he's asleep in my arms and I think even if World War 3 broke out right this minute he wouldn't care because he is in my arms. Just like Jeremy, we are happiest when we are close to our heavenly father. When we are close to him we hear what his heart beats for, we walk in the direction he is going and if things start going pear shaped He is always near to hold on to

It's amazing because although this blog is called Surviving Domestication and what one my first "Mum Life" posts were about a New Season, in the past few weeks God has been challenging me about being fruitful in every season- Psalm 1:3. What does fruitfulness look like in this season of my life? I'll be sharing more about that in the next wee while but this is definitely a start. My relationship with God is definitely going to be more fruitful as I can now understand what it is to be a child from a parents point of view. So all my lovely Christian mumma's out there, how has your relationship with Christ changed since becoming a mum? 

JJ's Journey to a healthy gut

Disclaimer: I am not a health professional. The following plan was made under supervision of my GP and discussion with a registered Chiropractor. 

I guess the main reason for sharing this journey on here is because over the last few years I have been introduced to this whole world of holistic health and treating the root of a problem. I would love to tell you that I only eat organic and use 100% natural products all the time, but I don't. However one step in the right direction is still one step. I know so many children with bad digestive systems and when Jeremy started showing signs of what my doctor refers to as a "sluggish gut" I knew I wanted to help him heal rather than get used to using medication to deal with his poop problem. A few years ago I would never have even considered thinking down this route, so if this post helps just one mum consider an alternative method to medication as a first resort, I would be stoked! 

Can anyone guess what's happening here? 

Jeremy was a once a three week pooper when he was just breast fed, which is completely normal for an exclusively breastfed baby however once he started solids he got so blocked up he would sometimes cry while he pooped, which was just heart breaking. I tried a variety of different food with not much progress and then I started doing some research which sent my head in a tail spin. What if my son has something really wrong with his digestive system? What if he is constipated because he is dehydrated? What if my breast milk isn't enough for him? What if... what if...what if? In the last few weeks I have been researching, trialling a few different things and today I spoke with my doctor and chiropractor and for the next few months I'm going to be putting the following plan in place to see if we can heal Jeremy's gut naturally under the supervision of my GP. 

1. More Breastmilk 

When my head was going down the, what if he is dehydrated route? I considered giving him formula. Again I researched and breast milk is going to be the best medicine for this boy to help him heal. That means I have to up my boobie game. Which includes the following

a// Weleda Nursing Tea- to boost my milk supply
b// Raw Energy Snacks with good fat- to increase the quality of my milk
c// Food and drinks high in probiotics- Miso, Kombucha and Keffir
d// Women's Multi Vitamin- to increase the quality of my milk and boost my energy. I can't have most breastfeeding support vitamins as they have fish oil in them and I'm allergic to fish

2. Probiotics

We are on week two of probiotic drops at the moment and we have seen some improvement with his tummy. Hopefully with me having pro-biotic rich food and drink he will be getting it through my milk as well

3. Bone Broth Based food 

This week we have started bone broth based baby food. This week he is having spiced pork bone broth with spinach and sweet potato. He loves the taste of it and has been a lot more settled and less gassy. The bone broth itself tasted so good we actually added salt to half of it and had it with our dinner last night! I'll be sure to share the recipe soon

4. Chiro 

Jeremy had adjustments from about 6 weeks and responded really positively to them. Since his last adjustment he seemed much more comfortable. We will continue on with monthly adjustments until his bowel movements are regular again. Here in Rotorua we go to Funnell Family Chiropractic who have just been so awesome. Jeremy absolutely adores his chiropractor Francesco, who is just so gentle and patient with him! If you are in Auckland make sure you contact Dr Shannon Ganesan from Dynamic Family Chiropractic 

5. Kiwi Herb Kids Calm

When I saw that this syrup was an emotional and digestive soother I was incredibly curious as to how it actually worked. The first time I used it for Jeremy I got a 2 hour day nap! Prior to this we had been getting no day naps as 20 minutes after putting him down he would always wake up with wind that needed to come up. The day nap journey is still a battle but we are currently winning! Most days I will get at least one good nap and one short nap with the help of Kiwi Herb Kids Calm. It really is amazing at helping to bring up that wind after he guzzles his feed. The best part is is is 100% natural, it tastes really so he really enjoys having it and it is such a reasonable price for such a quality NZ made product

So this is my plan. Plans do change, and if he does a bit of medication to help him in a few weeks I am not opposed to doing what's best for my baby. But as it states above this is a journey and so I'll keep you all updated as to how he is going! 

Sorry but is that your baby?

Yes I know what a bizarre title for a blog post... so humour me

In my drug induced exhausted state, my very first words I said when I saw Shyra-Beth was "oh she is so fair!" Initially I had a few random Asian grandmas ask if she was mine but as she has grown older, browner and started to display some of my features, I haven't had anyone look quizzically at us in a while. But if you know us personally, let's be honest, as soon as Shyra opens her mouth, everyone knows she's mine. 

Let's fast forward to Jeremy, if you follow me on instagram, you would know I sometimes make reference in jest to the fact I had a white kid with grey eyes whose hair is now dark blonde. And yes I do think it is quite funny. I've had to get used to the double takes at the supermarket every week and of course the oh so popular, "how did he come from you?" And in all honesty I do laugh it off, I do find it quite funny most of the time. Don't worry I'm not going all #brownisbeautiful or #mixedbabiesrule on you in this post, even though I totally agree the colour of my children's skin has nothing to do with how utterly adorable they are. 

I guess this whole identification marker thing has been playing on my mind. How do you tell that a child has come from a parent? In a world full of mixed race marriages and blended families it isn't always easy to tell from external appearances. 

But I want to take it further than appearances today and talk about a child's character. I know children aren't always a reflection of their parents but I guess its this whole nature vs nurture argument. I have no say in how my children look, but how much should I be concerned about the people they are becoming? As their mum, what role do I play in shaping their character? I remember having a really hormonal stint in my second trimester with Shyra-Beth where I was absolutely inconsolable for a good two weeks because I was convinced I was going to ruin a life I didn't feel qualified to be responsible for. Any mums feel me out there? 

When Shyra-Beth first started having tantrums she would throw herself, like her entire body face first flat on the ground for a few minutes and then get up entirely composed. I thought it was the most bizarre thing until one day when my parents were over and she had a tantrum. The look on my dad's face was priceless, he looked at me and said "I haven't seen that happen in 25 years." Eluding to the fact that, that was exactly what I used to do when I was upset. There for you is nature right there. However a year ago during one of the lowest points of my pregnancy with Jeremy, I burst into tears in front of Shyra-Beth who was a few months off her second birthday at the time. Shyra walked over to me, wiped my tears away and said "it's ok mummy" and gave me a hug. I would like to think that there is nurture. 

If you are reading this and wondering at what point I'm going to offer some sort of magical tip or solution to raising wonderful human beings... it's not coming. I guess this post is more a reflective parenting pondering. Just to be incredibly deep and insightful right now, I guess the whole nurture thing comes down to Monkey See, Monkey Do. Does my behaviour reflect the characteristics I want to see in my children? That's my challenge daily as I bring up these little ones. So before being able to see how good a job I'm doing at this, step one would be to identify these characteristics. I've been thinking about these for the last few weeks and I'm not entirely 100% set on these and I feel like they are a work in progress. 

1// Followers of Christ

2// Kind

3// Stand against Injustice

4// Hardworking

5// Honest 

Instagram would tell you I've been currently running on about 3 hours sleep per night for last month, so if this post makes no sense, let's blame the sleep deprivation. If this concept is something you identify with I'm really interested to hear what your top 5 characteristics are, even if you don't yet have kids, so please message and let me know what your top 5 are! xx Mags

Gluten Free and Dairy Free Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

Guys! I'm so sorry I've been a bit slack on the blog front. A mix of settling into a new kindy routine and Jeremy teething has just got me wiped out. Anyway my insta-story game has been pretty good though, so if you want to keep up with our adventures, make sure you follow me on insta! 

I made these on my insta story yesterday and got such a good response I thought I should share the recipe here! I kind of freak out when it comes to gluten free and dairy free baking as I'm just not very experienced working with these substitutes and I often find the ingredients necessary like almond meal and gluten free flour can get a bit pricey. I loveeee these cookies because they are gluten free and dairy free, they are melt in your mouth delicious, they use ingredients most kiwis have in their cupboards and they literally take 2 minutes to whip up. 

This particular batch i have adapted to be breast milk boosting by adding some flaxseed and brewers yeast. If you are a breast feeding mum, soak 2t flaxseed in 2T warm water for like 5 mins and add that with 3T brewers yeast to the mixture at the end! 

Also one more thing to note is that these are just so incredibly soft and crumbly when they come out of the oven so make sure you are super careful when shifting them from the baking tray to the cooling rack 

These aren't on the weight watchers list as they are quite sugary, so I will be experimenting with a refined sugar free version soon but for now, just indulge xx

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies (DF,GF) 

1 cup smooth peanut butter

1 cup white sugar

1 egg

1/3 cup dark chocolate chips

1. Pre-heat the oven to 180 degrees celcius

2. Soften peanut butter in the microwave for 30 seconds

3. Add sugar, egg and chocolate chips to the softened peanut butter and mix till combined

4. Portion out cookies using an ice-cream scoop

5. Bake for 15 mins

6. Transfer to a cooling rack very carefully so that the cookies harden

How To Survive A Road Trip with a Breastfed Babe and A Terrific Two Year Old

I have friends who just refuse to travel with young children. To be perfectly honest I totally get it. It is no easy feat. If they are miserable, all the time, effort, energy and money you put into the trip, is all for nothing. And then I have other friends who are absolutely insane and travel the world with their young children. Now them, I envy because of all the amazing adventures they have and the fact that they are brave enough and carefree enough to do so. Me, I like to sit somewhere in the middle. Travel the world with young children with long haul flights, different weather, different food and different toilets, probs not. Travel our beautiful country, New Zealand with young children, sure why not! Actually someone the other day that we have done quite well with our domestic travel, having just a young wee bub. In Jeremy's short life of almost 6 months he has done 2x almost week long trips to Auckland, 4 days in Christchurch and 5 days in Wellington. I like to think that's a pretty good effort on our part. 

Now Wellington. When we locked in Queens Birthday Weekend to go and visit Josiah's Nan in Wellington I don't think I had quite thought through the fact that meant an approx 7 hour roadie with a two and a half year old and five month old. As it got closer to the trip I'm not going to lie there was quite a build up of anxiety. I just had to think back to the first time we took Shyra-Beth from Auckland to Rotorua and it took us about 5 hours because of the amount of times we had to stop for boobie, nappies, spillies, burpies, you name an ies and we stopped for it. I think it might be a first time parent thing because this time it was a bit different. But to see the memories and connections made between nan and our kids, the trip was defo worth it! 

Now here are a few disclaimers: 

1. Josiah's mum came with us, so it was incredible having the extra set of hands and having someone in the back to entertain the kids. Now if there are just two of you, one can totally still sit in the back 

2. We pre-planned our stops. Google maps placed 5.5 hours of driving from our house to nan's. Factoring in weather (we had heavy fog for about an hour of the drive), bladders, naps and food it took us approx 7 hours. We stopped at places that had toilets, coffee and a safe place for the toddler to blow off some steam. If you saw my insta stories you would have seen Shyra running circles around a rock in Waiouru. 

Not going to lie I feel a bit stupid doing this post because a lot of it is common sense. But a lot of these tips I picked up from other mums or just thought through and they seemed to really help, so hopefully it does reduce pre-holiday anxiety! 

1. Haakaa Pump 

I know I've already written about this beauty but seriously, one of my main concerns with this roadie was the fact Jeremy cluster feeds like there is no tomorrow and I really didn't want to have to stop every hour to feed him. I did the majority of the driving on our way down and much to Josiah's shock and horror I attached the pump before driving so lalala within the hour I had filled a good 50-70ml. This was so good, because Jeremy started screaming in the middle of the dessert road with no place to stop so all Josiah had to do was pour my milk into a bottle I had in my bag and my mother-in-law fed it to him in the back. This satisfied him till our next stop where I gave him a proper feed. While I was feeding him, I had the pump on the other side catching the let down, and we did exactly the same thing the next time he started crying in the car! 

I don't know about you but I absolutely can't handle a crying screaming baby in the car. The feeling of helplessness is awful, especially when you can't stop. This wee contraption helps to eliminate that problem! 

2. Lamaze Scrunchy Book

A friend bought this book for Jeremy and he absolutely loves it. It literally entertains him for like 20 minutes, which might as well be an eternity when it comes to Jeremy. You don't have to have this exact book but with babies if you are wanting a compact multi-function toy this one is pretty good. The plastic bits are great to chew on, the bright coloured animals are entertaining and the best part is the scrunchy noise. The little hoop at the top is also really good because you can attach it to the capsule so they can't throw it away and scream! 

3. Water Wipes 

I always buy these any way but they are amazing to have on a roadtrip, especially when you have borrowed your father-in-laws straight out of the showroom Mazda CX5. Being chemical free, we used them to wipe snot of faces, milk spills from tops, mud from gumboots that got on the seats and of course to change nappies

4. Guess How Much I Love You 

Shyra-Beth loves reading, so packing books in the car was a no-brainer but facing a children's library of what looked like a million books I had to be smart with my choice. I chose this book because its one of her favourites, it's got just the right amount of word to picture ratio for a two year old and it's got actions she could do sitting down. You could choose any book, but the above are just a few things to bear in mind, that entertain two year olds! 

5. Whittakers The Full Eighty

This was a necessity for the grown ups. This is a limited release from Whittakers and it is delish! Josiah is a dark chocolate fan, I'm a milk chocolate fan so the fact that he likes this milk chocolate based treat is a massive win for me. I like finding all the different wee bits they have in there. Also it's good bribery to get the toddler back in the car, when she didn't want to leave the Adventure Playground in Levin. If you are ever going through Levin, that is definitely a place worth stopping at! The playgroup is huge, well maintained and has so many different activities for all ages. Definitely one of the best playgrounds I've ever been to

6. Babu Organic Cotton Swaddle 

I grabbed a few of these at the baby show last year and they were by far my best purchase. I use these as actual swaddles for Jeremy because he is an escape artist and this is the only non velcro, non zip swaddle that contains him. But what I loved about it for this trip was that because of it's size it was a great cover cloth while feeding. Also because it is organic cotton I didn't have any worries when I used it to drape over his capsule while he napped in the warm car, during the drive. Having an organic, breathable fabric I knew he wouldn't overheat or get too uncomfortable and wake up! 

7. Magnetic Drawing Board

We got this for Shyra-Beth for her birthday last year. This is I guess the knock off of the original magnadoodle but it was just such a life-saver in the car. Firstly the pen is attached via string to it so you don't have to try and pick up a pen from the floor in a moving car. Secondly it is endless entertainment! We got Shyra to draw the things she could see- sheep, cows, trees and of course her favourite "The North Mountain" aka Mt. Ruapehu, because I might have fibbed and told her she might see Queen Elsa there

These are just a few ideas, if you have any other road tripping fool proof ideas with kids, please comment I would love to hear them! If you notice.. the key thing here is there is no mention or iPad's or apps! We did result to about 10mins of Paw Patrol on the phone at one point but other than that we were totally tech free aka we all ran out of data 

A New Season

I posted a photo a while ago on instagram, where I had a wee rant about being 'Just a Mum.' I guess this is an elaboration on my thoughts surrounding said rant. 

Whenever someone asks me how I'm enjoying being a stay at home mum, my answer is generally the same- "I'm learning to embrace this season." Which is so true, I really am. But I have been asking myself the same question lately, why is it, that I have to learn to embrace this season, why can't I just embrace it? There are probably a million women out there who would love to be in my position. Stay at home mum of two, with an amazing husband, beautiful home and super supportive hands-on family! So why am I discontent? 

For some women it is totally the career thing. To be honest I had an important role in the job I had before having Shyra-Beth but one couldn't really call it a career. So if it's not the career thing for me, what is it? Why is it that I just can't embrace the fact that I'm a mum and that is my primary function at the moment. 

And then I had an epiphany, which came in the form of an article that caught my eye "Is it better for Moms to stay at home?"  It was the following passage that really resonated within me 

"I didn’t like that nothing was ever done. At work, I finished projects. At home, I could work the whole day, and at the end there was absolutely no evidence I had done anything at all. There was always more laundry to do, another mess in the living room, another meal to fix, another diaper to change. At work, I could tell when I was doing a good job. At home, I struggled to have confidence in my abilities. I was pouring into my kids, but the changes were so incremental I couldn’t tell if anything I was teaching them was taking hold. Was the investment of my time and energy really making a difference?"

 - Adrien Segal

And it suddenly all made sense! For a goal oriented person who used to live by to do lists, runsheets and write completed tasks on my list simply for the satisfaction of crossing them off, motherhood did not fit into that mould. Toddlers do not abide by runsheets and babies do not help with crossing off to do lists. You can't simply say "right my list says change eight nappies a day and you are on your ninth so tough, sleep in your poop tonight." A mother's work is never complete. Ask my mum that as she sat next to her grown up, mother of two daughter this week, making me take panadol and vitamins as I slept off my sinus infection. 

In this stage of motherhood, there is no completion, no sense of achievement, no finality. Motherhood does not satisfy my desire for a happy ending because it is on-going. 

Motherhood is not something that you do, it is who you become. I realised learning to embrace this new season was a not bad thing. In acknowledging that I have to learn I have identified a problem. Identifying a problem is the first step in resolving a problem. So how am I resolving this problem of embracing this season of motherhood? Well two things:

1. Thankfulness

Every single day, regardless of melt downs, giggles, story time, baking time, adventure time, poop everywhere time, I try my hardest to always find something to be thankful for. Thankful for Shyra telling me she loves me to the moon and back every night. Thankful for the way Jeremy loves snuggling into my shoulder. Thankful for the way Josiah still looks at me, even when I'm covered in spit up and have a monobrow because I haven't had time to get my brows done

2. Realising it is just a Season

Now some of our friends have put money on this. But we have a deal that I'm not allowed to make this decision until Jeremy is a year old, but I am 98% sure that I am not getting pregnant again. Which means there is an incredibly high chance that all of this. The spit up, the nappies, the breast feeding, the one income, the fluctuating hormones. This might be the last time. This might be the last time I get to see my baby smile for the first time. This might be the last time I stay up all night having cuddles because my baby is teething. 

Autumn is my definitely my favourite season. There's just something whimsical about the colours the leaves turn and the crisp, fresh air that just put me in my happy place! I was so adamant on being an autumn bride we only had a five month lead time to plan our wedding! But the thing we all know about seasons is that they change. Before you know it the tree covered in bright red and yellow leaves is bare, leaving crushed brown leaves on the ground, but give it a few months and the blossoms start appearing again. Such is motherhood I believe. Just when you think it gets really hard, it starts getting better but you look at your baby and your baby is a baby no more. 

So I'm going to be grateful and  learn to love it all. The good, the bad, the pukey and the ugly because I'm never going to get this season back ever again, even if by some miracle we do decide to have another child Shyra-Beth and Jeremy will never ever be this age again so I'm am going to learn to take all the cuddles with all the struggles

Rant over. xx