See these two kids, little did they know just over 8 months from this day, they would be hit with news that would change their lives forever. We had dated almost 4 years before we got married, most of that long distance. I was young, fresh out of my parents home, immature and dramatic which didn't make for a good combination. Those first few months were tough, we both made mistakes and we both had different ideas of what marriage looked like.
I bought a pregnancy test as a "haha lets just make sure we aren't" but when the two lines took their time appearing my first thoughts were not my own,
Mary's Song- Luke 1: 46,49
"My soul glorifies the Lord... for the Mighty One has done great things in me"
Mary's song suddenly became my own and even though this baby inside me wasn't planned by usI was reassured that this child was something great.
When I told Josiah his response was "you are joking" followed by, are you 100% sure? 6 pregnancy tests and a blood test later and we were definitely sure. My husband smiled with his lips but not with his eyes. Looking back, I can't blame him. He is logical and a provider by nature, a baby therefore threw spanner in our plans especially financially. A week later the morning sickness kicked in with brute force and lasted another four months. In that time I think I cried in my office every day at work. Partially from feeling sick and useless at our busiest time of the year, but partially because I didn't understand my husband's lack of enthusiasm. My pregnancy was tough with one thing after the next but to cut a long story short I think we were both terrified about what was to come, but we were scared apart, as opposed to facing our fear together
When I was admitted into hospital, the three day long induction before I went into labour was the longest time we had spent together since our honeymoon. We chatted, we laughed and we did countless laps up and down stairs and around Waitakere hospital I started to forget how alone I had felt the past 9 months and started remembering why I fell in love with him. Which was good because neither of us knew what was about to happen during my 30 hour long labour with Shyra-Beth, but that is a story for another time.
I remember the moment. I was lying in bed still unable to move after my c-section and Josiah stood there holding this baby in his arms. The look on his face as he held her, is one etched into my memory forever. The utter love, devotion and protection. He said nothing, but he didn't have to. I knew that regardless of what our pregnancy journey had been he was going to love this little girl to the moon and back.
You may look at our photos now and we may seem like the perfect little nuclear family, mum, dad, daughter and son with our first home and our vege garden. This is not the life we had planned for the first 4 years of our marriage. This is not the life we asked for but it was the life we were given. We were given a beautiful gift but we couldn't see its worth until she arrived. We couldn't see that our daughter gave us a cause fight for. Gave us a reason to improve our communication and pour into our marriage because we saw just how much she needed us both. Even when it was tough we continued to choose love, because of her and now we choose love because we want to. Because love is wonderful, marriage is wonderful but its hard. Unexpected things happen all the time. It might not necessarily be an unplanned baby
My husband Josiah is the most incredible dad and I wouldn't want to do this life with anyone else. Maybe one of these days I'll pick up some more courage and write part two of our parenthood journey. xx Mags
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