Cord of Three- The Story

Guys!!! It has been a while since I have posted on here.

I've been wanting to share with you all a little project that has been keeping me busy these last few months. So here we go. 

Last year I saw an image on Facebook it said "do you remember when we used to say brb on msn messenger? We don't say brb anymore. We live here now" 

I felt those words cut through me like a hot blade. It was so convicting! I mean that last bit though- "we live here now." I couldn't help but think about how I don't leave a room without my phone coming with me. About all the mindless scrolling I do after the kids go to sleep or worse while I'm meant to be spending time with my children. How I can feel so good about my day, go on social media, see one tiny comment and feel terrible. Don't get me wrong I definitely think social media has a place in our lives but the balance just seemed way off to me. 

Since the start of the year our family has been through a few changes. Changes that have left me shaken and disoriented. This plus certain things I saw on social media got my head spinning and I knew I had to regroup and ground myself. 

I stood in my kitchen one day talking to God telling him that I needed to de-clutter my mind. I needed to stop getting bogged down by the unnecessary but instead focus on what is important. And I needed him to show me how I could do that. I looked over to our china cabinet. There beside our unity candles from our wedding lay a woven rope. An analogy our pastor used at our wedding was about the strength in the three-fold cord. It all became so clear. 

My marriage, my children, my walk with God. Three roles in my life where I am completely irreplaceable. Three roles where there is no understudy, no 2IC, just me. It is my responsibility to cultivate, learn and do the very best that I can to fulfill these roles. 

*There is no one in this world who can be a mother to Shyra-Beth and Jeremy

*There is no one in this world who can be a wife to Josiah

*And just like my love and relationship with each of my children are completely different and wonderful in their own individual way, there is no one in this world who can be the child of God that I am to my Heavenly Father 

Right so I've identified what is important so where to from here? With a world full of distractions at my fingertips, what do I do? I have kept my hands busy!

I started crocheting during my pregnancy with Jeremy as it forced me to to set aside time to pray for him. What started off as attempting to make a bonnet for Jeremy so he couldn't pull it off his head, went on to making bonnets for friends as gifts. I'm not a very hands-on creative sort of person so I never thought they would be good enough to sell. But thanks to the encouragement of some wonderful people in my life here we are. 

I'm passionate about putting kids, especially babies in natural fibers so most of my bonnets are made with 100% natural fibers and hand made to order. As I have the attention span of a gold fish I've recently also started making other bits and pieces so keep an eye out! 

I still find it so bizarre that it is through crocheting I have been able to spend less time scrolling and more time praying. Less time viewing whats going on in other people's lives and more time being present in my own. 

Yeah, that's my story. I've started a facebook and instagram page (@cordofthree_) so follow me if you knitwear is your type of thing!

Today you are One!

A letter to my son...

To my darling Jeremy, 

I cannot believe you are one today! It literally feels like yesterday I was giving you abundant cuddles and not letting the midwives put you in your own bassinet. Come to think of it, it was just yesterday that I let you sleep in my arms because I couldn't handle the thought that my squishy little baby is now a little boy. 

You are such a big mover. I still can't believe you rolled over at 9 days old! And once you got the hang of rolling you rolled everywhere and constantly ended up getting stuck under the coffee table. Now you are a champion crawler, one can always hear your thumping crawl before actually seeing you. Walking is not far off for you, but take your time my darling because once you get going there will be no stopping you. 

I love that you are a bundle of affection. Your big sloppy kisses are the highlight of my mornings especially when I can barely keep my eyes open from having stayed up all night with you.  I love how your first smile for me was when I told you that I loved you. I've so enjoyed seeing your little personality grow and develop. You love eye contact and seek it out just so you can smile at someone, anyone. I'm always finding you having chats with random people at the supermarket, which is the only type of shopping you like. You are my snuggle bug through and through, loving the front pack over the pram unless we are going on a big walk with lots of things for you to see

You currently have the attention span of a goldfish but I've noticed over the last few weeks touch and feel books have managed to steal your attention for more than a second. You are such a go-er my boy, make sure you remember to stop and enjoy the moment. 

You adore your sister and you are always yelling for her especially when she's at kindy. I love watching the two of you play and fight. You definitely give as good as you get son! We will have to warn Sbyra-Beth that it is not long before you are going to be bigger and stronger than her, but by then I'm sure you will just be smothering her with your hugs and no longer pulling her hair! 

My little boy through and through, you love being outside and exploring everything. You aren't an animal lover like your sister but you are intrigued by anything that makes a noise. You thump, thud, clash and bang on anything you can get your hands on. Your latest trick is clapping your hands/ And you are SOOOO loud, like all the time. I think you get that from me. You are passionate, determine, loving, exuberant, opinionated and all the qualities daddy and I are going to have such a wonderful time parenting as you approach your teenage years. 

My utter delight, the joy of my heart. It is a gift and honour to be your mummy

Love, 

Mummy 

Fresh 48 Photoshoot by Grace Jones Photography

We didn't choose the Parent life, it Chose Us

I posted a photo on instagram a while ago saying I was staring at a blog title called "I didn't choose the mum life the mum life chose me" but I wasn't brave enough to write it. Yes, it still terrifies me to write what I'm about to, but I think the reason why I initially couldn't write it was because this journey hasn't been about me. It's been about us, Josiah and Magdalene Paul. I thought I would share a little bit about our journey. I think growth is something to be celebrated. Today is part one of this celebration.

See these two kids, little did they know just over 8 months from this day, they would be hit with news that would change their lives forever. We had dated almost 4 years before we got married, most of that long distance. I was young, fresh out of my parents home, immature and dramatic which didn't make for a good combination. Those first few months were tough, we both made mistakes and we both had different ideas of what marriage looked like. 

I bought a pregnancy test as a "haha lets just make sure we aren't" but when the two lines took their time appearing my first thoughts were not my own, 

Mary's Song- Luke 1: 46,49

"My soul glorifies the Lord... for the Mighty One has done great things in me" 

Mary's song suddenly became my own and even though this baby inside me wasn't planned by usI was reassured that this child was something great. 

When I told Josiah his response was "you are joking" followed by, are you 100% sure? 6 pregnancy tests and a blood test later and we were definitely sure. My husband smiled with his lips but not with his eyes. Looking back, I can't blame him. He is logical and a provider by nature, a baby therefore threw spanner in our plans especially financially. A week later the morning sickness kicked in with brute force and lasted another four months. In that time I think I cried in my office every day at work. Partially from feeling sick and useless at our busiest time of the year, but partially because I didn't understand my husband's lack of enthusiasm. My pregnancy was tough with one thing after the next but to cut a long story short I think we were both terrified about what was to come, but we were scared apart, as opposed to facing our fear together

When I was admitted into hospital, the three day long induction before I went into labour was the longest time we had spent together since our honeymoon. We chatted, we laughed and we did countless laps up and down stairs and around Waitakere hospital I started to forget how alone I had felt the past 9 months and started remembering why I fell in love with him. Which was good because neither of us knew what was about to happen during my 30 hour long labour with Shyra-Beth, but that is a story for another time. 

I remember the moment. I was lying in bed still unable to move after my c-section and Josiah stood there holding this baby in his arms. The look on his face as he held her, is one etched into my memory forever. The utter love, devotion and protection. He said nothing, but he didn't have to. I knew that regardless of what our pregnancy journey had been he was going to love this little girl to the moon and back. 

You may look at our photos now and we may seem like the perfect little nuclear family, mum, dad, daughter and son with our first home and our vege garden. This is not the life we had planned for the first 4 years of our marriage. This is not the life we asked for but it was the life we were given. We were given a beautiful gift but we couldn't see its worth until she arrived. We couldn't see that our daughter gave us a cause fight for. Gave us a reason to improve our communication and pour into our marriage because we saw just how much she needed us both. Even when it was tough we continued to choose love, because of her and now we choose love because we want to. Because love is wonderful, marriage is wonderful but its hard. Unexpected things happen all the time. It might not necessarily be an unplanned baby 

My husband Josiah is the most incredible dad and I wouldn't want to do this life with anyone else. Maybe one of these days I'll pick up some more courage and write part two of our parenthood journey. xx Mags

JJ's Gut Health Journey Update

Well, it's been 4 months since we started Jeremy's gut health journey. Four months since his "sluggish gut" diagnosis, since I started joining dots and since I stopped wallowing in self-blame and put a plan together. 

So this is what I'm pretty sure happened, but as I've said before I'm not a medical professional this is just a mum, her intuition and advice from medical professionals. Jeremy had a tongue tie, which we didn't know about, so he wasn't getting enough milk. Jeremy had his 6 week vaccinations. It was after him getting the Rotovirus vaccine he stopped pooing every day. 

Not enough good bacteria in the gut from breast milk + rotovirus vaccine = a change in the lining of his gut. 

I came to this conclusion by joining dots, because I'm pretty much a detective and also because the lactation consultant told me that she's seen a few babies this has happened to! FYI I'm totally still pro-vaccinations, it's just interesting at what an important role good feeding and breast milk plays in all of this.

Anyway, it's been an interesting three months with good days, bad days and four days of a vomiting bug that set us back by a month. So how is he doing? GOOD! We have seen a huge change, that is partially from the plan and partially from his gut developing and getting more mature. But the big thing in all of this is that his gut is healing itself! He generally poos every day now, most of the time by himself and sometimes with some help (I push his legs back into a squat position, he's putting on weight and is generally a lot happier. From where he came from and only pooing once a week, being gassy, uncomfortable and having really hard poos, I couldn't be happier with where we are now. 

My plan has slightly changed since the beginning so I thought I would update you all as to how it is going

1. Breastmilk  
In my last post I talked quite a bit about breast milk and I have been going super strong with the breast milk. He still feeds 3-4 times a day but just in the last three weeks I've occasionally started introducing 1/2 a bottle of formula at night. If you know me, you will know this was a huge decision for me but with him having quite a few teeth sometimes he would get so overtired and irritated on the breast he would just keep biting me and I wasn't handling. So yes we did it, he would maybe have a 100ml at night once a week and it has actually been fine for him


2. Water 

The dr advised me that fluid was super crucial in helping to lubricate the gut to prevent constipation. But with Jeremy's high arched palate, he didn't know how to suck so sippy cups or bottles with straws were out of the question which is why I was so excited to find out about Doidy Cup.  Doidy Cup's slanted design was perfect for Jeremy, to help him learn how to drink straight from a cup without needing to suck. It also helps aid hand eye co-ordination and I have seen this myself as in the last month he has become an absolute champ at feeding himself. My favourite part about the doidy cup is there are no little fiddly bits to clean or worry about food getting stuck in. If you are keen to give it a go, make sure to keep an eye out on my instagram as I will be doing a give away soon! 

3. KiwiHerb Kids Calm

I talked about this product in my last post. But this has been my lifesaver as when we started this journey Jeremy was on quite a limited bone broth based diet, but he has his parents taste buds and therefore loves food. I've had been apprehensive about letting him try different things as I have no idea how he would react. For example the other night we had falafels with hummus and all the chickpeas I ate made him so sore and gassy he screamed for ages! 

This is where Kids Calm comes in! You can use Kids Calm for a whole range of things but with Jeremy how I find it works, is that it takes all the little wind bubbles and makes it come out as one (from either end) it just completely settles his tummy. This has been amazing to have whenever we are introducing something new. 

4. Diet

As mentioned above Jeremy is no longer on a limited diet. He generally eats what we eat now, just a salt and sugar free, whole grain version.  He doesn't have bone broth every day now, but still often. Generally, we avoid giving him white bread, white flour, white pasta- anything that's been quite processed. One thing the lactation consultant recommended giving him was slippery elm. The powder form is quite inexpensive and just adding half a teaspoon of that to his meals just helps line his gut and aid his digestion. It's also fairly tasteless so if I have forgotten to add it to his food he will have it via syringe diluted in a bit of warm water

5. Peppermint Oil

It just so happens my mum has made trips back to Singapore before both my births. And she comes back with all sorts of Asian goodies some I roll my eyes at and some I swear by. She always brings back this oil called Yu Ie oil and I honestly didn't believe her when she said it helped with wind. That was until the lactation consultant told me Peppermint oil really helps with digestion and guess what's the primary ingredient in this random asian oil? Needless to say its now part of our bedtime routine

6. Kiwi Herb Baby Balm

When chatting with the doctor about times Jeremy has had quite solid poos, he mentioned something interesting. Apparently, if a child has done a poo that has made their bottom quite sore, they can sometimes hold their poos in, in fear of the pain. So although their tummy is now functioning well, the fear of the pain can prohibit them from releasing a bowel motion. He advised to smother the area with a nappy cream every nappy change. He recommended a popular brand but the thought of putting something so full of chemicals on Jeremy every nappy change made me cringe. I loveeee Kiwi Herb's baby balm, its all natural, its soothing and it really has been a game changer for us enabling Jeremy to actually do a bowel motion by himself. This balm is also super versatile. I keep some in a separate little jar put on my nips if Jeremy has bitten me and it works really well as a barrier cream for Shyra's ezcema before she eats something acidic like oranges. 

So that's us for now! I'm so encouraged by the progress he's made so thank you all so much for thinking about us and praying for Jeremy I know that his gut is going to be fully restored to what it needs to be!

Shyra- Beth's Backyard Bambi Party!

After Shyra-Beth's first birthday I had said to myself and Josiah that we wouldn't do another party till she was 5. But then a few months ago Shyra-Beth started constantly talking about birthday parties. Firstly because her favourite episode of Blaze and the monster machines is one about a birthday party and secondly because they have a wooden birthday cake at kindy that they play make belief birthday parties with. So I figured with her being so aware surely we can do something small and simple right? 

Turns out according to my family "simple" is not in my vocabulary. But I did try honestly I did and I managed to keep it totally within budget. So win win! Especially since Shyra-Beth had the best day and the build-up to her party for her, was almost just as exciting! 

We decided to do a morning tea on a weekday because a. morning tea is pre-nap time and b. having it on a weekday kept the guest list to a nice cozy number. Basically, all the party supplies were bought from our local dollar store, handmade or foraged from the garden. And all the food was made by myself or one of our mums. I'm super into the whole grazing platter idea so I decided to just do that for the grown-ups but maybe next time I won't make 5 platters for 14 adults... what? I like being generous! We had two games organised, but with the tramp, ball pit, bubbles and ride on toys available in the garden we just ended up doing one game which was the treasure hunt! I grabbed the plastic eggs on clearance after easter from Kmart at $1 for 25 eggs so I just filled them with stickers, lollies, glow in the dark animals and animal erasers. Anyway I blaaaa wayyy too much so I'll let the photos speak for themselves! Any questions just comment away xx Mags 

What Motherhood has taught me about The Father's Heart

Motherhood certainly opens your eyes to a whole new world. A world where getting your eyebrows done drops to the bottom of the priority list under 10,000 loads of laundry, cupcakes for a fundraiser and research on an organic cotton fair trade snuggie. As a believer and follower of Christ, motherhood has opened my eyes to a completely new way of understanding God the Father's heart.

1.He knows the Big Picture

As many of you know we have been through a bit of a journey with Shyra-Beth over the last few months, call it terrific twos or attention seeking since getting a baby brother, our mornings have become a battleground. At the moment, with the help of a personalised sticker chart we are currently winning the battle but I recall one particularly trying morning when we were meant to be going out and she absolutely refused to get dressed. I grabbed her by the shoulders and said to her "if only you would listen to me we would do so many more fun things and go on many more adventures." And then it hit me like a tonne of bricks. How often have I been the toddler wanting to stay in my pjs watching DVDs  at home when God wanted to take me to the movies, to watch it on the big screen and buy my ice cream. How often have I held on to what I think is right and not given God a chance to move in my life and show me much bigger or better things, much more than I could ask for or imagine? How many times have I cried out in anger about a current distressing situation without stopping to listen for an answer. Who knew such conviction could come from getting your child dressed right? 

2. We are happiest when we are close to Him 

Jeremy is what you would call a Class A snugglebug. When he is happy he will look at you with his gorgeous big eyes, his face will erupt in a smile and then he will throw his face straight into that nook between your collarbone and shoulder and just snuggle in. That is his happy place. Since being sick and cutting his first tooth straight after that it's been a bit fun trying to transition his back into his own bed, we are getting better nights but Jeremy always sleeps the best when he is in our arms, in our bed or in the frontpack. He is settled, content and just happy. I look at him sometimes while he's asleep in my arms and I think even if World War 3 broke out right this minute he wouldn't care because he is in my arms. Just like Jeremy, we are happiest when we are close to our heavenly father. When we are close to him we hear what his heart beats for, we walk in the direction he is going and if things start going pear shaped He is always near to hold on to

It's amazing because although this blog is called Surviving Domestication and what one my first "Mum Life" posts were about a New Season, in the past few weeks God has been challenging me about being fruitful in every season- Psalm 1:3. What does fruitfulness look like in this season of my life? I'll be sharing more about that in the next wee while but this is definitely a start. My relationship with God is definitely going to be more fruitful as I can now understand what it is to be a child from a parents point of view. So all my lovely Christian mumma's out there, how has your relationship with Christ changed since becoming a mum? 

JJ's Journey to a healthy gut

Disclaimer: I am not a health professional. The following plan was made under supervision of my GP and discussion with a registered Chiropractor. 

I guess the main reason for sharing this journey on here is because over the last few years I have been introduced to this whole world of holistic health and treating the root of a problem. I would love to tell you that I only eat organic and use 100% natural products all the time, but I don't. However one step in the right direction is still one step. I know so many children with bad digestive systems and when Jeremy started showing signs of what my doctor refers to as a "sluggish gut" I knew I wanted to help him heal rather than get used to using medication to deal with his poop problem. A few years ago I would never have even considered thinking down this route, so if this post helps just one mum consider an alternative method to medication as a first resort, I would be stoked! 

Can anyone guess what's happening here? 

Jeremy was a once a three week pooper when he was just breast fed, which is completely normal for an exclusively breastfed baby however once he started solids he got so blocked up he would sometimes cry while he pooped, which was just heart breaking. I tried a variety of different food with not much progress and then I started doing some research which sent my head in a tail spin. What if my son has something really wrong with his digestive system? What if he is constipated because he is dehydrated? What if my breast milk isn't enough for him? What if... what if...what if? In the last few weeks I have been researching, trialling a few different things and today I spoke with my doctor and chiropractor and for the next few months I'm going to be putting the following plan in place to see if we can heal Jeremy's gut naturally under the supervision of my GP. 

1. More Breastmilk 

When my head was going down the, what if he is dehydrated route? I considered giving him formula. Again I researched and breast milk is going to be the best medicine for this boy to help him heal. That means I have to up my boobie game. Which includes the following

a// Weleda Nursing Tea- to boost my milk supply
b// Raw Energy Snacks with good fat- to increase the quality of my milk
c// Food and drinks high in probiotics- Miso, Kombucha and Keffir
d// Women's Multi Vitamin- to increase the quality of my milk and boost my energy. I can't have most breastfeeding support vitamins as they have fish oil in them and I'm allergic to fish

2. Probiotics

We are on week two of probiotic drops at the moment and we have seen some improvement with his tummy. Hopefully with me having pro-biotic rich food and drink he will be getting it through my milk as well

3. Bone Broth Based food 

This week we have started bone broth based baby food. This week he is having spiced pork bone broth with spinach and sweet potato. He loves the taste of it and has been a lot more settled and less gassy. The bone broth itself tasted so good we actually added salt to half of it and had it with our dinner last night! I'll be sure to share the recipe soon

4. Chiro 

Jeremy had adjustments from about 6 weeks and responded really positively to them. Since his last adjustment he seemed much more comfortable. We will continue on with monthly adjustments until his bowel movements are regular again. Here in Rotorua we go to Funnell Family Chiropractic who have just been so awesome. Jeremy absolutely adores his chiropractor Francesco, who is just so gentle and patient with him! If you are in Auckland make sure you contact Dr Shannon Ganesan from Dynamic Family Chiropractic 

5. Kiwi Herb Kids Calm

When I saw that this syrup was an emotional and digestive soother I was incredibly curious as to how it actually worked. The first time I used it for Jeremy I got a 2 hour day nap! Prior to this we had been getting no day naps as 20 minutes after putting him down he would always wake up with wind that needed to come up. The day nap journey is still a battle but we are currently winning! Most days I will get at least one good nap and one short nap with the help of Kiwi Herb Kids Calm. It really is amazing at helping to bring up that wind after he guzzles his feed. The best part is is is 100% natural, it tastes really so he really enjoys having it and it is such a reasonable price for such a quality NZ made product

So this is my plan. Plans do change, and if he does a bit of medication to help him in a few weeks I am not opposed to doing what's best for my baby. But as it states above this is a journey and so I'll keep you all updated as to how he is going!